Done Playing Games with my Infertility
It was back to the baby drawing board. I refused to go back to the specialist who had possibly wasted my time and money for 6 IUIs. I also refused to return to the one who wanted to treat me like a lab rat to fatten his pockets. So now what? Adam and I agreed that it wasn’t worth the time, money and effort to go to just anyone. We would find the right specialist and if we couldn’t find them, then we would just hope for the best because being treated so poorly wasn’t worth the physical and emotional toll that it had taken.
I read blog after blog and contacted several people who might be able to point me in the right direction. I never told them why I needed the information since we were still keeping it to ourselves, but just that I needed a suggestion. Over and over there was one specialist who kept coming up, and it was the same one who had been booked for 5 months when I previously called. Ultimately, I decided there must be a reason why their name kept coming up and why they were so busy, so I called and made an appointment. Then I enjoyed some down time from fertility while I waited for my appointment day to finally arrive.
The day of the appointment, I arrived with all of my documents and questions. Just like the last time, I was ready. I met one on one with my doctor and was immediately at ease. She had already looked through my file and seemed to get me. She mentioned that she noticed I was a lawyer and probably someone who like plans, organization and control. Thus, she assumed I was having trouble with the lack of control I had over fertility (did I mention that she seemed to get me?). She asked if I was seeing someone for the mental toll that infertility has on a person. It was so nice to know that she was worried about me and not just about giving me a baby. It was also nice to hear someone recognize the mental affect that this was all having on me. I felt a connection right away and told her that I had not seen my counselor in a while, but I would get back in touch.
We then discussed everything I had been through. Medications, IUIs, testing, etc. She did not want to repeat any tests, which was a relief, but there were a few tests she wanted to do because my prior doctor had not done them. One of the tests we discussed was the HGC test and whether it was necessary at this point. She was disappointed that my prior doctor had done 6 IUIs without having done this test as it is required to determine whether IUI will even work. Thus, she said it was up to me whether I wanted to take the test or not. If I was curious whether IUI was even a possibility and potentially wanted to try more IUIs, then I should take the test. However, if it would just make me angry to know that he had wasted my time and money, then she didn’t think it was in my best interest. We decided to forgo the test because I wasn't sure if I could mentally handle being told that IUI hadn't even been an option after all the time and money we had spent.
After the few additional tests had been completed, we all met to discuss the plan. The doctor stated that she believed we were ideal candidates for IVF given the fertility issues that we exhibited. Plus, in her opinion, we had given everything else enough chances without success, so she was fine if we wanted to move straight to IVF. Adam and I agreed. It was decided it was time to move on to IVF.
