First Time's a Charm?
My phone rings and it is the lab. 11 eggs were fertilized so I am extremely disappointed when the individuals informs me that only 5 embryos still exist. It has been a matter of days and we are already down to 5? I want to cry, but I try to stay positive because I know it only takes one and we should be thankful that we even have 5 embryos that could become our babies.
The embryo transfer is scheduled for 5 days post retrieval. Adam and I arrive at the hospital with high hopes as well as 32 ounces of water and a valium for me. Once we are checked in, I change into a hospital gown and begin drinking my water. My bladder has to be completely full during the transfer so the valium is to keep my bladder at ease. I think it is also to calm my nerves since I know how important today is, but they don’t say that.
Adam is allowed to be present during the transfer so he is given coveralls with a full hood to cover his clothes and booties to put over his shoes. He looks adorable in his sterile suit and I am glad he will be with me this time. As we wait to be taken to the operating room, the doctor arrives to discuss the procedure. First, he tells us that the protocol has changed and they recommend transferring two blastocysts this morning. *Please note that blastocysts are embryos, but they are now called blastocysts because of the stage they are at.
This confuses Adam and I because at our meeting with the doctor prior to starting the IVF process, it had been recommended that we only transfer one blastocyst due to my age and all the negative things that can occur with a multiple pregnancy. Thus, you can imagine our surprise when the doctor comes in to greet us and advises that we will be transferring two. He states that the blastocysts have not been maturing in the lab as they had hoped so we are now down to four and they believe that two need to be transferred to give us optimal chance for a positive outcome.
We do not feel that we are argue with the doctor, so we agree to transfer two. The doctor then hands us a printout with two strange looking circles on it. These are them, he tells us. These are the two blastocysts that he will be transferring today. Staring at the printout with two large circles with smaller circles within them, I am mesmerized by the thought that these may be our babies. These circles of cells will grow and change to become human beings. What a crazy miracle that is.
Next I am wheeled to the operating room with Adam following close behind. Upon entering the room, they move me onto the table and give Adam a chair to sit next to me. He takes my hand and the doctor explains what he will be doing. I love having Adam here with me as I go through this, but it is hard to believe that this is how we are attempting to create a baby. I mean we are in a sterile room with a bright light aimed at my lady bits and 4 or 5 other people around watching a screen that shows a quick flash of light every time the blastocysts are inserted directly into my uterus. This is definitely the opposite of how I ever imagined us having kid and couldn’t really be any less sexy or romantic.
However, I know that if it works, it will never matter to me how it happened. I will forget how cold the table was and how one of the nurses was laughing about something. All I will remember is that our baby was created that day while he held my hand and supported me, just as he has throughout this entire process. So I hope with all my heart that this is how it happens. That this ridiculously unsexy way is exactly how we make one (or two) little humans.
